If you want people to listen to you, then being tactful and empathic are great characteristics of a great persuader. Using these two characteristic will allow people to put their guards down and be less defensive when you speak or write. Lets go a little deeper on how you can be more tactful and empathetic towards others…
How many of you have offended someone from something that you said? I believe most if not all can fall into this category.
Now I notice that some people are a bit more sensitive than others, but it doesn’t give us the excuse of not watching what we say. We definitely don’t want to keep making enemies, do we?
If we want to be more attractive to people, then we definitely want to use tact and empathy as much as possible. When we communicate with others we always want to consider the other’s feelings, and like the quote says, have the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Now some people are just blunt. They say whatever they feel without regards of the other person whether the person like it or not.
This may work for some people, but I do believe this is a bit self-absorbed. Some people can take this type of person and let it ago, while other’s not so much so.
Now I say if you’re going to be blunt, at least be tactful about it and have some type of empathy. Especially if you have a home business. When you steer away from this approach, you’re heading towards manipulation which I talked about in my previous post.
Now what does it mean to be tactful and have empathy towards someone? When dealing with people this is something that I believe needs to be practiced at all times.
Also it’s something that will benefit you in order to open people up to listen to what you have to say.
So lets go a little deeper on what it means to be tactful and have empathy
What Is Tact And Empathy
As I did in the last post, I would like to give credit to Bob Burg and his 2013 book Adversaries Into Allies for the information I’m about to share with you.
As he put it, Tact is The Language Of Strength. When you’re able to communicate to others while being considerate of the other person’s feelings, then you’re being tactful, whether they are very sensitive or not. Your intentions is not to damage their character, but to help make any necessary improvements or corrections.
When it comes to tact, Bob Burg lays out two steps:
- Think before you speak
- Use the correct words that will honor the other’s belief system, ego and emotions accompanying their ego.
When you are aligned with the right intentions, then usually the right words will flow out of your mouth or hands if you’re a blogger. This is where being empathetic comes into play because it gives the other person the perception that you can relate and understand them.
I look at empathy as a way to connect human souls. We all want to be heard and understood, and it takes an empathetic mindset for this to happen.
If you want to have more sales and increase your readership, being empathetic is a sure-fire way to do so. Talking about the struggles or successes within your blog or when prospecting are the magnets that’s going to attract people to you.
Now some people confuse Empathy with Sympathy, and there is a major difference between the two.
When you’re empathetic towards someone you can feel, relate or understand what the other person is going through and provide solutions to help them. You only can achieve this through asking the right questions, listening, and taking note.
When you’re sympathetic towards someone, your own feelings and compassion goes out to the other person, but the problem is that it’s your own feelings. You assume that they’re going through the same thing and you become the problem or neutral with no solutions to provide.
It’s so powerful to make this distinction between the two.
This goes along with being a person of influence. If you really want to be a person of value and being more attractive to others, you always want to use Tact followed up being that understanding person of empathy.
When it comes to giving advising or making suggestions (uhmm sales), a lot of us have a big challenge for people to listen and take action.
People have their guards up and tend to reject what we have to say. This for a lot us, is hard to get around and at times it can be a bit frustrating. So what can we do to get through to people.
Well one way that I seen in Bob Burg’s book was the use of Lead-In Phrases. They are phrases that soften the advice or suggestion a bit so that it can be more acceptable for other to be more willing to listen to what you have to say.
Here are a few examples that I got from his book:
“Ron, I’m wondering, what if we were to change one part of the presentation to…?”
“This is my opinion only, Patti. Having Tom run this particular unit could be a good first step in helping him become a more effective leader.”
“Donna, it seems to me, and I could very well be wrong, is the timing of this launch just a bit too late to…?”
“Joe, you know more about this than I do. I’m wondering if…”
If you noticed people who are great persuaders tend to use phrases like this with tact and empathy as the backbone. I know in my own experience, I would be more attentive to what people have to say when they use phrases like this in order for me to take some type of action. Other than that, I would be more nonchalant or resistant.
As Bob Burg puts it, there are two benefits in using Lead-Ins
- To Open Their Mind – When it comes to giving advise, recommendations, or constructive criticisms, a person’s ego can get in the way and make them less receptive to another person. So basically it’ll go in one ear and out the other or they’ll just reject all together to keep their ego in tact. But when you use lead-in phrases it will cause them to be more open to what you have to say.
- To Open Your Mind – When we use this approach, it causes us to keep ourselves in check. It allows us to keep control of our ego and gives us a great reputation that whenever we do make suggestions, we actually know what we’re talking about. At the same time it keeps us from making statements that, just in case, may not be true.
So there you have it! Using Tact and Empathy, the benefits of it, and how it can make you a better persuader. If practiced enough, you’ll definitely have an advantage over most people. Especially if you have a home business!
Now It’s Your Turn!
How are you using tact and empathy to grow your readership, email list or make more sales? Do you see the difference between those that use this and others that don’t? What other persuasion skills do you use? Please share your comments below and share this post with your friends. I look forward to read them!
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